yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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