you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
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What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
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When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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