Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize