I'm lost and stupid without you.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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