I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
