just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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