So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Bang-toberfest begins!!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Someone came in the potted fern
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
