closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You're like the curious george of whores
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I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
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All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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