did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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