your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so explain again why im purple
no
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Randomize
