the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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