do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
