girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize