he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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