Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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