Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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