i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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