I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize