Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
