sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
