So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
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In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize