I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Mom said you looked used
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
