Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We are two peas in an std pod
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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