You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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