I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
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I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
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He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just want nice things and good sex
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus