youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
50% drunk capacity currently
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass