She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...