I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.