Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.