I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
