There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
