normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
