Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
