I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Omg the world wants us to be better people
How does one acquire holy water?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.