At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.