New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.