I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.