you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.