apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i think im in europe. pls send help
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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