we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he told me I talked like a deaf person
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
