Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps