Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!