Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
