there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
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Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
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My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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