College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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