my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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