His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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