JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i want to swaddle you in tequila
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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