we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
