the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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