I just made out with a guy for $7.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
tell me about the fingering
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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