just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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