FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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