I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
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You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize