when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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