I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize