stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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