A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize